Kick the Damm Spot

For almost four years, Cooper has been a member of the Dolphins soccer team.

Of course, all the parents and siblings are members of the extended team. We are especially blessed with a great group of parents.

Together we've watched our boys grow from chubby-cheeked preschoolers to long-legged second-graders. We've celebrated new siblings and mourned the loss of grandparents together.

We all trust one another to chaperone sleepovers and to drive kids to and from practices and games.

The Dolphins family, led by Coach Phil Mango and Jen, and other close friends have organized an amazing fundraiser to benefit Steve and our family, to help pay for growing medical costs. (Proceeds will also benefit Frisco Family Services, an excellent social services organization.)

The Kick the Damm Spot event is scheduled for Saturday, June 6, in Frisco. (You can read more about it here.)

Kids are invited to gather pledges for every goal they can kick in three minutes. So, if a child gets a pledge for $1 per goal, and she kicks 15 goals, she would collect $15 from the person pledging.

Steve and I are overwhelmed by the time and effort already devoted by the Kick the Damm Spot team. They are putting together a really exciting day, with vendors, silent auction and prizes for the kids who participate.

If you are interested in helping with the event in any way (signing up your child or entire soccer team, auction donations, sponsorships), you can contact Phil Mango at PJMango@midamerican.com.

If you would like to sponsor Cooper or Katie, who will both be kicking in the event, you can e-mail me at tyradamm@gmail.com, and I'll fill in his or her pledge card for you.

Evaluation

The UT-SW outpatient therapy clinic called before 8:30 a.m. today and asked if we could have Steve there by 10 a.m. The scheduler told us to be prepared for possible admission to the inpatient service.

We scrambled. Liz took Katie to school for me. I packed a bag and made other arrangements. Layne and Bob lifted Steve from the bed to the wheelchair and eventually to the minivan.

Once at the clinic, we required more help to get him out. A tiny but strong physical therapist gave Steve a great big hug and danced him over to the wheelchair.

We were a little late for the appointment, but we made it.

Dr. R evaluated Steve and determined that he is a good candidate for physical rehab. And then she told us that we'd need to go home and wait. Insurance still hadn't approved the admission.

I admit that I was overwhelmed at the thought of getting Steve safely back into the car and home and then forcing him to do it all over again. But we had no choice.

Before we left the building, we went to radiology for an X-ray of Steve's back. He's been having severe back pain, which we suspect is muscular after Monday's fall, but Dr. R wanted to be sure. We haven't heard back, so we assume he's not suffering from broken vertebrae.

The same physical therapist returned him to the car.

When we got home, Martin was waiting for us and moved Steve from the car to the wheelchair to his home office spot in the dining room. Liz arrived shortly after with lunch.

So now we're both working from home, waiting to hear that United HealthCare has agreed to cover inpatient rehab.

Dr. R said the stay could be a week or two. It will depend on what goals we set and how long it takes to reach them.

I'll update when we have the go-ahead to return to Zale!

No falls, but close calls

Steve's left side was worse today than even yesterday. With that, his mobility is worse, too.

He didn't fall, but there were some frightening moments in transit. I'm using all my strength to catch and hold him when he falters. Then he steadies himself and we keep moving with tiny baby steps.

We were able to get him from the bedroom to the dining room, where he worked from about 8:15 a.m. until 6 p.m.

Seriously.

As awful as the location of this tumor is -- and believe me, it's awful -- we still are incredibly thankful that he retains cognitive and reasoning ability. He's able to produce the most detailed Excel charts and tables and graphs I've ever seen.

But still, the tumor is in a terrible spot, and we can only assume at this point that it's the tumor that is causing his left-side decline. Even with the high dose of Decadron, he's losing ground daily.

Dr. M is concerned, of course, and has started the process to get him admitted for inpatient physical rehabilitation at Zale Lipshy (the UT-Southwestern hospital where Steve was unofficially diagnosed, back in December 2007).

The medical staff has accepted him. Now we're waiting on a bed pending insurance approval, which should come Wednesday or Thursday.

While a rehab patient, the staff will evaluate his current abilities and needs, and we'll set goals for discharge. He'll work with occupational and physical therapists and other caregivers as needed. I'll spend much of the day with him, too, to learn how to best care for him at home.

He'll stay overnight, which will be hard on all four of us, but we're all focused on the goal of Steve's safety at home.

Dr. M told me that she thought his stay would be for about a week. I expect we'll know more specifics after he's admitted and evaluated.

I explained to Cooper and Katie this afternoon why Steve will return to the hospital. There's a chance they'll come home from school tomorrow, and he'll already be at Zale.

When I was tucking Katie into bed tonight (the first of multiple tuck-ins), I reminded her about the upcoming hospital stay and asked if she had questions. In reply she told me that Daddy would feel a little better. And she said that they would take his tumor out. I reminded her that they can't take it out. She gently insisted that they should.

*****

Today was another day that wouldn't have been possible without the help of many kind souls.

Betty stayed with Steve during the day while I attended a parent-teacher conference, conducted a client interview and had my own doctor's appointment (just a check-up). She also picked up Katie from school and helped Cooper after school.

Kerri brought a plate of sweet treats (with contribution from Kristie). Carol brought homemade chicken stock for Steve. Melissa delivered comfort food for dinner. Jeff came over to help me lift and move Steve. Sharon spent her free time tonight helping with the whole nighttime routine, even allowing me time to run with Liz and Melanie.

I'm always comforted by the help -- and by how Cooper and Katie respond. They have learned to be flexible and to accept help from others.

When Katie wakes up at 6:30 a.m. and is told she's going to the Smith house for the day, she doesn't balk or cry. She accepts and embraces the change in plans.

Cooper loves to listen to his Daddy read him bedtime stories, but if Steve's voice is too weak (like tonight), he's happy for me or one of our trusted helpers to read to him instead.

Especially in these most trying times, we are reminded of our infinite blessings. We are thankful for the joy that peeks and sometimes bursts through when we least expect it.

Early morning fall

Today was difficult.

Steve fell in the bathroom around 5 a.m. (Waking to the sound of your one true love falling to the floor is one of the most horrifying sensations.) He hit his head and parts of his left side.

After I found no obvious signs of broken bones or cuts, we started working on a plan to get him up on his feet. Steve did his best to move his body around, but nothing was working. Our old strategy isn't compatible with the current weak state of his left side.

I googled "how to lift someone off the floor" and found a bunch of warnings -- don't attempt to do this at home unless you're trained. I found one that offered hope, but we soon realized his left side wouldn't support any weight.

So I called 911. The Frisco dispatcher is always calm and reassuring. A few minutes later, the fire truck and ambulance crews were at the front door.

Six guys crowded into our bathroom to assess the situation, take vitals and help. Even in his pain and discomfort Steve was joking a little.

They eventually got him on his feet and straight to his walker. Steve decided that he didn't want to be evaluated in an ER, so the EMTs left.

They were here about an hour. The trucks' lights flashed in front of our house the entire time. The guys moved in and out the front door with radio noise. Cooper and Katie never stirred once. In Katie's case, I think an angel must have kept her eyes and ears closed. She's our early riser, often beating the alarm clock.

We know we can't and shouldn't shelter them from every moment of this journey. But we're thankful to keep them sheltered so far from the image of emergency vehicles in front of our house.

Steve stayed in bed most of the day. He felt great pain in his back. Plus some of his kidney stone pain returned. With the help of pain meds, he took a much needed long nap.

In the meantime I visited with Dr. M's group on the phone plus our previous home health physical therapist.

The physical therapist is scheduled to evaluate Steve at home late tomorrow afternoon. He will help determine what Steve can safely do and teach me how to help him with transitions and movement.

Dr. M is working on some other solutions that we'll discuss more Tuesday.

By late afternoon, Steve was able to move from bed to the kitchen table. (We ate a delicious dinner delivered by Melinda, who read my Facebook/Twitter update early this morning and, like so many of you, offered help right away.)

He's back in bed now, definitely feeling some discomfort from the day but in good spirits considering what he's endured in just the last two days. (An exciting episode of 24 always helps.)

My own spirits were lifted by treats from Liz, Kris and Holly and notes and calls throughout the day from other sweet friends.

And someone special left a giant basket of arts and crafts activities on the front steps, discovered when Cooper came home from school. I just wish I'd had my camera handy to capture their joy.

Nothing could beat the joy that Steve and I felt at the dinner table tonight, though.

Steve asked Cooper what his favorite part of the day was. He answered, "Getting to see you after school, Daddy."

And then Cooper held our hands as he said our mealtime prayer:

God is grace

God is good

Let us thank Him for our food

And please help Daddy

And everyone else in need.

Amen.

Bad news, good news

Bad news

• Steve had kidney stone-related trouble throughout the night.
• The pain was terrible -- up to an eight on a 10-point scale.
• His symptoms required an early morning visit to the emergency room.
• A CT scan this morning showed a 3-mm stone sitting on top of his bladder.

Good news

• The same scan showed that his right kidney is now free of stones. (A tiny 1-mm stone is hanging out in his left kidney. We pray that one stays put for a long time.)
• The pain meds worked quickly in the ER.
• He didn't need to be catheterized. (Being catheterized is in Steve's Top 10 List of Things He Dreads.)
• This was the shortest ER visit in the history of Damm ER visits. We were in around 6:45 a.m. and out by 8:45 a.m. I think it helped that (a) Dr. M called ahead for us; (b) we knew what the problem was; (c) the triage nurse was efficient; and (d) the Plano Presby ER was the least crowded we've ever seen.
• He can continue pain meds at home -- probably for the next 12 to 24 hours, until the stone is gone.
• Katie scored a morning with the Smith family, and Cooper gets to hang out with the Starnes family for a few hours.

Laying low

Steve and Katie cuddling

Steve has weathered Wednesday's dose of Carboplatin and Avastin well.

He's had no nausea -- and that's without a single dose of Zofran. He's tired, but the increased dose of Decadron (he's at 10 mg daily) seems to be balancing some of the exhaustion effects.

He's still battling headaches daily. His left side is still trouble. We'd sure be appreciative if those symptoms would lessen with the higher steroid dose. I'm guessing he'll move up to 12 mg soon -- three times the dose he was taking just 10 days ago. The goal is to find a level high enough to make a difference but not so high that the effects are worse than necessary.

After looking at the calendar for next week, Steve has decided to stay home all weekend. He is going to the office Monday and Tuesday -- a huge step and energy-zapper for him -- and to the cancer center Wednesday for routine lab work.

The kids are having a big weekend. Cooper and Uncle Jim are part of Cub World this weekend, camping out with the rest of Pack 443 overnight.

Sir Cooper, before the knight-themed Cub World camping trip (homemade tunic by Tyra and Allison, colors and accessories chosen by Cooper)

Katie spent the morning and early afternoon with sweet Julianna and her parents for an outing to the Museum of Nature & Science.

Katie and Julianna on a dinosaur dig

And Cooper's school hosted a carnival today. Half of the proceeds from the dunking booth are designated for our family, to help with medical expenses. Isn't that so thoughtful and generous? Doesn't it make you feel warm and happy to know that we all are surrounded by such goodness?

Weekend update

While Steve and I were spending Friday at the cancer center, Katie was with Jim and Betty, and Aunt Ami was driving in from Austin. Ami arrived at our house just in time to see Cooper walking home from school. (He was headed to Meghan's house.)

A sampling of what's happened since then:

Margie escaped the house late Friday night. An unpredictable dark dog running through the neighborhood at night is a scary thing. Uncle Greg and I sprinted after her. Even speedy Greg, though, was no match for Margie. Aunt Melane and Cooper chased her down in the Escape (appropriate name, eh?), and Cooper coaxed our crazy fast dog to hop inside.

***

We celebrated my 37th birthday. Steve surprised me with a framed print from our early 2008 portrait session, and many, many others spoiled me with the most thoughtful cards and gifts.

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Katie bounced around at Conor's fifth birthday party.

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Cooper played tough with the Dolphins, the hardest-working second-grade soccer team in Frisco.

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In health news:

Steve seems to be passing another kidney stone. He's been taking pain medicine, which is helping some, though right now he's in awful pain. (I know there's no point in deciding "what's fair," because nothing about Steve's condition is fair, but honestly. He shouldn't have to endure so much kidney stone pain on top of everything else.)

His headaches aren't improved yet with the increased steroid dose, but it's still early in the process.

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And Steve has a new hairdo! Check back soon to see!