Gentleman

There are moments every day that I miss Steve. I don't usually speak them aloud or post them on social media. They don't consume me or dampen my joy (usually) -- they are just a part of life without him.

Sunday morning was a particularly big moment.

Our church hosted the Rev. Zan Holmes Jr. as guest preacher. There's nothing like a Zan Holmes sermon. During the Sunday school hour, both he and the Rev. Bill McElvaney (another living legend) spoke about taking risks in ministry. They each shared stories from their civil rights work in Dallas in the 1950s and '60s.

Cooper wasn't feeling well that morning. He didn't complain much, though, and he listened attentively to both ministers. (Cooper is a longtime student of the civil rights movement, starting with his interest in Rosa Parks around age 4.)

At the end of the Sunday school presentation, Cooper leaned toward me, whispered, "I'm going to go thank them both," then walked across the sanctuary.

He stood in front of these distinguished men, waiting respectfully to get their attention. When they noticed him, both Zan and Bill stood. Cooper looked Bill in the eyes, shook his hand and thanked him for coming to our church and for his work. He did the same with Zan.

Later that afternoon, after Cooper had rested and before his Boy Scout meeting, I sat with him to tell him how proud I am of his character and gentle spirit.

So much like his Daddy, who I miss so much.

Cooper & Katie, on Steve's bench at church, Feb. 24, 2013

Dance

On Saturday, Uncle Greg escorted Katie to the Daddy Daughter Dance.

(She has specific criteria for her dance "dates" -- they must be related to her and they must be daddies. So Papa and Greg are on her short list.)

She had been looking forward to the event for weeks.

When she went to bed on Thursday night, she said, "I can't wait until Friday, because then I'll be able to say, 'The Daddy Daughter Dance is tomorrow!' "

Early Saturday afternoon, she had her hair styled at the Dry Bar. (She wouldn't allow curls, but the stylist did sneak in an adorable flip at the ends of her shiny, long hair.) As we walked back to the car, she asked how old you have to be to go to the dance.

"The minimum age is 4," I told her, "but you first went when you were 3."

"Why?"

"Well, we weren't sure that Daddy would be alive for the dance when you were 4," I told her, "so we decided to cheat a little."

Katie thought for a moment and then replied, "That was a sad prediction to have to make, but it was a good prediction."

We arrived home just as Greg was arriving from Anna.

I acted as chauffeur. First stop: A pre-party at a friend's house.

Next stop: The Frisco Convention Center. I dropped Greg and Katie off near the entrance and cried a little as I watched them walk hand-in-hand into the dance.

Greg texted me photos throughout the dance -- every one with a beaming Katie.

Ninety minutes later, I returned to pick them up. Katie was sobbing.

"I miss Daddy," she cried as Greg helped her into the minivan.

I fought back tears as I told her that I miss Daddy, too, and that Uncle Greg misses Daddy.

By the time we arrived home, she had mostly recovered. I learned about some of the songs and the snacks. She thanked Uncle Greg for taking her and thanked me for always letting her attend.

I am so thankful for the incredible men in our lives -- excellent role models and gentle souls. I know that we are blessed to have so many people care for us.

But sometimes, I feel just like Katie, wanting to cry to when it's impossible to think of anything else except Steve is missing.

'First Look of Life'

I've been looking for a Baby Katie photo for a second-grade project. While perusing old photos, I noticed how many of our Steve-and-Katie photos look like this one:

Katie and Steve, February 2006

He rarely looked at the camera with Katie in his arms. He usually stared at and admired his little girl.

Today, Katie is fully secure in her Daddy's love, even though he's been gone for more than three years. He poured so much love into both Cooper and Katie -- long before he was ill and, of course, while he was living with cancer.

I'm thankful that we have photos. More than that, I'm thankful that both Cooper and Katie have warm memories and constant love today.

In fact, when Katie decided to enter the PTA Reflections contest last fall, she chose to draw a photo of her Daddy holding her for the first time. (The theme this year is "Magic of the Moment.")

Katie's pastel drawing, titled First Look of Life (which recently received an Award of Excellence at school)

Moments to share

There are little moments all the time that I wish I could share with Steve. 

Moments like last Wednesday, when the school nurse called to tell me that Cooper had injured his shoulder during P.E. I had been in a deep sleep, ill from flu, when the phone rang. 

I started to get dressed and drive in the cold, dreary rain to pick him up. Then I called Katrina, who had earlier made me pinky promise to let her know if I needed help -- and who happens to be married to Frisco's best ER doctor.

We worked out a plan to get Cooper help right away. Then the school nurse called again and told me that upon re-examination all he really needed was pain medicine. Katrina delivered medicine, and I fell back asleep.

(Steve had injury-prone shoulders. Gracious, I wish he were here to discuss his troubles with me and Cooper.)

Moments like this morning, when Katie was in a dental chair for usually routine dental work that in her case required heavy sedation because of severe anxiety related to anything medical. 

She was a little loopy and a little scared, and I held her hand and told her that she was brave. I told her that I love her and am proud of her.

I wanted to say, "Daddy loves you, too," but I couldn't predict how she would react under the circumstances, so I kept those words in my heart.

Moments like tonight, when Cooper was ready to fall asleep and he asked me to take his B (his special blanket) to my room because he was afraid that it might fall apart. (It's well loved.)

I reminded him that Grandma had knit him another B. I found that newer blanket in his closet, and I wrapped old B inside new B. I tucked the combo B under his right side.

He had tears in his eyes. Me, too.

Then intuitive Katie called from the next room, "Cooper, are you OK? Is everything OK?"

And Cooper, who protects his sister at almost all costs, started to genuinely laugh and say, "Yes, I'm fine."

Biography

Cooper wrote a short biography over Christmas break for a school assignment. I'm sharing it here with his permission ...

I was born in Dallas, Texas. I live in Frisco, Texas.

When I was 3½, I went to San Francisco. I was chasing pigeons in a park when I tripped and fell flat on the concrete. I cracked my chin open, so I was rushed to a hospital that, unfortunately, took only adults. Thankfully they took me in because of the condition I was in.

I was in kindergarten through fifth grade at Calvin Bledsoe Elementary. I lived the life of a normal kid for most of my life. When I was 6, my dad, Stephen Edmund Damm, was diagnosed with brain cancer; he had a tumor in his brain stem.  

On September 7, 2009, my dad died on his bed with all of his family around him. I was in third grade at the time. The next day our school counselor informed my class about the morning before.

But I went on to do other things after the tragedy, like Student Council, choir and lots of other activities. I have had lots of good things happen to me, like getting awards for Boy Scouts and soccer. After fifth grade, I went to Pioneer Heritage Middle School, where I play clarinet.

Cooper, Dec. 23, 2012

Bring Him Home

Last night Liz and I saw Les Miserables together. (She'd already seen it once and was ready to see it again.)

It's a lovely, gritty and haunting film. 

It's not easy for me to sit through dying scenes in movies or television. The experience of living through Steve's final breaths and his death completely changed me.

I do find comfort in the life that continues after death -- here on earth and in heaven. And in precious heavenly moments on earth.

As we were leaving the theater, Liz and I talked about David Gaschen singing "Bring Him Home" at the benefit for our family in March 2010.

The kids and I recently saw David at breakfast. He is a dear soul, and we are so thankful for him and his family.

Here's the video of David singing "Bring Him Home" -- a sweet, heavenly moment.

This and that

Uncle Jim, Cooper, Jim and Katie on Christmas Eve:
That Cooper smirk is so much a Steve smirk.

***

A couple of Saturdays ago the kids and I met up with friends for breakfast.

Katie ordered Nutella crepes. She was particularly excited about the Nutella and used her fork to dig out the hazelnutty-chocolately goodness from the folds of the crepe.

I told her that the first time I had Nutella was in 1999 in Germany. It was more difficult to find in the United States then, and Steve was excited to have it again, many years after he was an exchange student there.

Our fourth-grade friend Luke, known for his honesty, was listening. And then he said something like, "Why don't you get yourself a new husband? It must be hard raising all these kids by yourself. And it must be depressing for them to have no dad."

I laughed (mostly because he said "all these kids" as if I were the Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe) and made a joke about picking up a random husband off the street. (Which I totally do not plan on doing.)

Cooper made a joke, too. I'm not sure what Katie thought.

Luke's mom, Jenny, to her credit, did not spit out her food or anything like that.

***

Our wedding included four female attendants: Melissa, Jayshree, Karen and Swati. (All friends of mine since eighth or ninth grade.) The final bachelorette of the group, Swati, was married this weekend.

Karen and I sat together during the ceremony, and we talked about how we wished Steve could have been there. He loved Swati and no doubt would have loved Paolo as well.

Congratulations, Paolo & Swati!

Magical moment

Cooper, Katie, Jim, Betty, Uncle Jim and I sat down for Christmas lunch. Cooper had the honor of lighting the Steve candle.

And then, in the same moment, snow began falling from the sky. (We have a lovely view from the kitchen.)

Merry Christmas from our home, now bathed in snow! (A rarity around these parts.)

Lessons and Carols

This morning our church celebrated the Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols, a lovely service that tells the story of Jesus' birth through Scripture and song.

Jim and Betty attended with us, to help Cooper, Katie and I walk in the Advent bells, read the Call to Service and light the Advent candles.

Some thoughts from the morning:

1. It is clear where Uncle Jim and Steve and then Cooper and Katie received their musical talents. I sat between Jim and Betty, and I sang softly because (a) I'm not very good and (b) I wanted to listen to their voices.

2. It's remarkable to watch my 11-year-old son stand behind a lectern and lead our congregation. Not so long ago, he was a tiny 3-month-old, cradled in my arms as he was baptized on the same altar.

3. Katie's radiant joy during worship warms my heart.

4. When Pastor Cassie spoke the Bidding Prayer and prayed for those who have moved to distant shores, I strongly felt Steve's presence.

5. I've yet to fully process the events in Newtown, Ct., on Friday. I'm still numb. When our friend Sharon was reading from Isaiah, describing peace that will reign -- wolf with the lamb, calf with the lion -- she paused to compose herself. Her heart was heavy with the unspeakable violence and aftermath. When her voice broke, my tears started.

6. When Sharon asked us to pray for our brothers and sisters in Connecticut, I imagined all those families without their 5- and 6-year-olds this weekend. Then I thought of Steve, who never saw his own Katie go to kindergarten. And then I decided that, though I have no idea how heaven works, if Steve has his way this weekend, he is loving on those heavenly kindergarteners.

7. As if emotions weren't heavy enough, the choir sang "Creation Will Be At Peace," one of Steve's favorite anthems and a song from his beautiful service. So, so many tears, for Steve and for those kindergarteners and their families and all who love them. I was thankful to be surrounded by people who love me, including Betty, who held my hand.

8. Peace. I am praying desperately for peace for a world that needs it desperately.

"Glory to God in the highest, and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased!"

(Luke 2:14)

MRI day

Five years ago tonight, Steve and I were at Baylor Frisco, huddled in a dark room, staring at an image of his brain.

It was our first glimpse at what we would learn in January 2008 was a grade IV glioblastoma in his brain stem.  

The next few hours and days were a whirlwind of activity. Phone calls, emails, appointments. Incredible outpouring of love and assistance from family and friends. Much of it documented in this space. 

Five years seems like a lifetime in some ways. For Katie, it almost is. The majority of her life has been with her Daddy ill or without him here altogether. Her only memories of our old "normal" are from stories and photos. 

Five years is almost half of Cooper's life. He remembers "normal," but in bits and pieces, not with the full narrative that I carry in my heart.

Five years later, I still have moments when I think, "I can't believe this is our life now." 

Those moments are more frequent when the dishwasher is broken and when two children have two activities at the same time in separate locations and when Santa needs help making decisions and when out-of-our-control changes deeply affect a child.

Those moments make me daydream ever so briefly about life before five years ago.

Of course, there's no point in living in the past. So I break reverie and focus on the next few steps in whatever tasks lie ahead and acknowledge our family's overflowing blessings.

"Joy runs deeper than despair."

(Corrie Ten Boom)

Thanksgiving

Steve and Tyra, Thanksgiving 2007

Five years ago, Steve was driving me, Cooper, 6, and Katie, 2, home from our annual Thanksgiving visit with the Jones family in Austin. (We would often joke that our wedding vows should have included Steve promising me that he would always drive on road trips. I don't love driving.)

Somewhere near Waco, we started to piece together all of his odd symptoms.

Constant headache that Tylenol couldn't resolve.
Difficulty swallowing thin liquids.
Slightly slurred speech.
Frequent hiccups.

"You should call your doctor on Monday," I said.

"You're right," he said.

I also remember Steve telling stories about high school friends, antics and parties. We laughed a lot.

It was the last time that Steve would drive us home from Austin.

The next Thanksgiving I drove our family of four to Austin and back.

And the following year, we faced Thanksgiving without Steve. And again. And again. And this year again.

No matter how many times I'm on the road back from Austin, when we pass through Waco, I think of that 2007 conversation. I don't even try to fight back the wave of sadness. And I welcome the memories of our laughter -- pure joy with no idea of the sorrow to come.

Tyra, Cooper and Katie, Thanksgiving 2012

Steve's candle, Thanksgiving 2012

44 Acts of Kindness

Hundreds of you made Steve's birthday, Nov. 4, a truly awesome day. Thank you!

Midweek I tried to count the reported acts of kindness in memory of Steve. There were at least 350! And those were just the acts emailed or texted or posted to Facebook. (If I accidentally missed blogging yours, I'm sorry!)

My sister, Melane, sent me a note that night that captures part of what made the day so special:

"I just can't stop reading all the Acts! I keep thinking ... So many people are being touched today, but no one person would be able to come close to Steve's reaction to it all. He wouldn't be able to stop the genuine feel-goodness. He'd be smile-crying all day. He'd be so happy his cute cheeks would hurt for a week. He'd be speechless."

Save the date now: 45 Acts of Kindness on Nov. 4, 2013.

"He has told you, O mortal, what is good;

and what does the Lord require of you

but to do justice, and to love kindness, 

and to walk humbly with your God?"

(Micah 6:8)

44 Acts of Kindness: Part 24

Angela in Allen:

"Today was a big AOK day for us. I picked up lunch for the 2 ladies who run our book fair (and are there pretty much all week). E got her hair cut to donate to Locks of Love. And we bought a restaurant gift card for a family at our school who recently lost their mom (at age 38, to cancer). I love that my kids have such a giving spirit!"

E before

E after

***

From Tom in New York:

"Still haven't been able to use my 44 acts card, but I did donate to Cup of Joe for a Joe. https://www.greenbeanscoffee.com/coj/"

***

From Sarah in Frisco:

"I am a little late to the party, but I have been thinking long and hard about my act of kindness.  I did not forget on Sunday, but buying the meal of the people behind me or picking up newspapers didn't seem like what I felt I should do.  Those are wonderful acts and much appreciated, but I wanted to push myself a little bit harder.  Finally this week a friend posted on Facebook that Frisco ISD is in need of parent mentors for children in our district.  I immediately knew that this could be my good deed in honor of Steve.  This is out of my comfort zone, yet something I have often thought about doing.  I have contacted the program and will go through training next week.  And today (albeit even more late!) I took lunch up to the school for Holland's teacher and Holland who has earned the privilege to eat lunch with her teacher from her good behavior stickers.  Holland broke her arm two weeks ago and is fully casted on her right side.  Her teacher has been so sweet about all of my concerns and helps Holland buy and carry her lunch each day, so I did the same for her today!"

***

From Leigh in Plano:

"On Sunday I ran an errand for my stepmother that she repeatedly said she would do herself (but hadn't).  She was very grateful.

Then in the drivethru at Starbucks I paid for the caramel macchiato ordered by the woman in the car behind me.

The interesting thing was, the Starbucks was near Steve's old high school. I wonder how many times the cashier heard the phrase "44 acts of kindness" that day?"

***

From Melissa in The Colony:

"Saw a post on the community FB page...someone in need of boxes. Realized I had many saved...I reached out to share, and shared with my 44 Acts of kindness card and a note to pass it on."

44 Acts of Kindness: Part 23

From the Kosifou family in England:

"Hello, we live in the South of England, and heard about you from a friend at the digichick forum (Tracy) - and we wanted to join in  too! We were actually away from home on the day, so my daughters and I (ages 8 and 6) looked around us for little things we could do. 

We held doors open for people, and let others go in front of us (even when it meant they didn't get to be first in line, or choose the thing they wanted most). They also smiled at people we passed in the car, and played with a grizzly baby so the mum had a moment of peace. Small things I know, but sweet and helpful things, and all done with a smile and a happy heart. 

This such a beautiful way to remember someone you love, thank you for the opportuity to do a good deed for a good reason! ~ Corrin, Ella and Eden"

***

From Patti in Carrollton:

"Shared the note with an attached KitKat bar to my Stephen Ministry class.  Shared the birthday wish to perform a random act of kindness.  Also shared how inspirational the blog is.    THANKS for sharing the journey..."

***

From Jan in Colorado:

"I bought the soldiers behind me lunch."

***

From Linda in Dallas:

"Just took time to read all the posts. Marvelous! Maybe you could have a version of the note that could be done on business cards for people to use year-round. Make "a Steve Damm kindness" a household name! 

One more tiny act to add (and I hope it makes you laugh): After donating early to the Pine Ridge, S.D., team headed to the NY marathon to raise money for a reservation youth center, I thought an opportunity for another random act would present itself Sunday. But that didn't happen. So today I offered to chop onions for my mother's lunch salad -- even though I loathe the smell of onions! It made her happy "

***

From the Sweckard family in Frisco:

"Thank you for inspiring our family and for sharing Steve’s story. We are enjoying reading about the many acts of kindness done in his honor.  Last Friday, Scarlett, our 5 year old, donated all of the gifts she received for her 5^th birthday party to the Texas Scottish Rite Hospital.

In addition, since we are from New York, and have lots of family living there, we made a donation to the Red Cross in memory of Steve to be put towards the Hurricane Sandy disaster relief."

***

From Kathy in Carrollton:

"I paid for the items being purchased by a young mother and her three children at CVS.   I butted in ahead of them as they got to the counter - ( and they were so nice about me butting in ahead of them!! ), and then there were shocked to realize I was actually butting in to pay for their items.   

Thank you for encouraging us all to do things like this.  It was a privilege to honor Steve's memory."

***

From Angela in Allen:

"Today I only managed to take cookies to our crossing guard and M's teacher, but I've still got more acts of kindness up my sleeve..."

***

From Ana in Wisconsin:

"I mentioned yesterday that I intended to continue to pass the kindness (school being closed on the weekends and all). I also wanted to finish the final three acts of kindness intended to honor both Steve and my dad. To round out the celebration, here are the acts I 'committed' today.

5) When I first started my student teaching, I spent time with the students during recess. Many of the students play four-square and soccer - but the soccer balls were a bit "well-worn." I dropped off three new balls for recess. This was just a small token to repay the kindness the school and its students have shown me.

6) To make up for all the candy I have brought to school lately, I decided to bring in a healthier option for teachers and students who visit our classroom with a small assortment of fruit. I was so happy to see the students asking for the apples and pear even though the pumpkin holding the leftover Halloween candy was just inches away.

7) I have been working at another school in the after-school program since April. Every day, these students greet me with bone-crushing hugs and cheers of "Miss Ana!" How can I not feel loved? I brought in two new games for them today - Cooties and Ants in the Pants. Watching them enjoy these old favorites made me giggle.

8) Ok, it's more than seven - but this kindness thing is addictive. My final stop tonight was to stop by my friend's house to drop off a Starbucks gift card and flowers. Krissie has been a wonderful friend to me over the last few years and busy schedules have kept us apart for a long time - even though we live just miles away from one another. I intended to "drop and dash" but ended up spending three hours with her and her amazing family (and got tamales to take home as an added bonus).

Tyra, I'm lucky to be blessed with such great family and friends; my health; a new career as a special education teacher; a dog and two cats who love to cuddle with me and so much more. I have been the receiver of so many great kindnesses and know how even something little can go a long way. I truly believe I have gotten back so much more than I have given these last two days. Thank you for letting me be a part of this wonderful event - and count me in for AOK 2013!"

***

From Mandy in Frisco:

"Yesterday, I brought my Girl Scout co-leader a much needed Sonic drink, tonight I bought Starbucks for the car behind me, and Bridgette and I are going to take some goodies with us to the Cystic Fibrosis clinic at Children's on the 20th for the doctors and nurses."

***

From Stephanie in Keller:

"Today I was at Walmart and the girl in front of me told the cashier that she only had $22. Her bill was $22.60. I handed the cashier a $1 and told her to give the change to the girl. The gentleman was grateful that he didn't have to wait for her to dig for the change. I was happy that I made someone (actually 3 people smile) It was a $1 but you could tell that it meant a lot more than that to the girl in front of me!"

***

From Jeanene in Frisco:

"A friend of my husband was out out sick with for over a month. As a random act of kindness he left a gift card to their favorite restaurant so they can enjoy a nice meal."

44 Acts of Kindness: Part 22

From Jeanne in Carrollton:

"My husband and I spent yesterday with the two children of dear long-term friends while they attended the NASCAR race.  They live in Austin and have no family in the state.  We’re the closest thing and consider them like a brother, sister-in-law, niece, and nephew.  Their 11-year-old son has autism, so our friends don't often get to spend time together alone as a married couple.  Their 13-year-old daughter is incredibly accepting of and loving toward her brother, but often has revise or share what she wants to do for his sake.  She seemed to really enjoy a trip with me to the mall to shop for teen clothes without any real schedule or agenda.  Everyone had smiles on their faces when they came together at the end of the day!!"

***

From Kristin in Frisco:

"Today I picked up Nothing Bundt Cakes for the sweet woman that guards the gate into my parents neighborhood, the sweet couple that cleans my house and Dave's wonderful admin at work - All delivered with the "Steve" note attached. Love the yearly reminder to pay it forward, Tyra. Thanks for including us once again!"

***

From Stephanie in Frisco:

"I purchased coffee for the car behind me in line at Starbucks this morning in honor and memory of Steve.  I kept my niece and nephew (ages 2 and 3 months) all day yesterday which might be considered an act of kindness in itself :) but it kept me from being able to get out and about yesterday like I had hoped.  Anyway, I read your posts throughout the day and I wanted you to know what an AWESOME way I think this is for you and your kids to honor Steve on his birthday each year.  I know he is smiling down on all three of you!"

***

From Christie in Frisco:

"Bought gift cards at the local consignment shop and asked the sweet ladies there to give them away as they see fit. Left the paper and Steve's story for them to share. Have to say, we were all in tears when I left."

***

Last night the doorbell rang at the Damm house. By the time we got to the door, there was no one there. But there was this sweet note for Cooper and Katie and a gift card for dinner.

***

From Renee:

"We were somewhat housebound today [Sunday], but did make it out to lunch at a local restaurant. While there, I noticed a waiter who was working very hard and I celebrated Steve's life by thanking him and handing him a tip on the way out the door. We have decided to do one random act of kindness for the next 44 days in honor of Steve. Thank you for sharing Steve's story and giving us the opportunity to be a part of celebrating his life."

***

From Bert and Cameron in Frisco:

"We were so inspired by your friend’s story, we donated a bag of dog food Sunday to Collin County Cast-A-Ways. They were out in front of PetCo (on Eldorado near the Target). That was our random-act-of-kindness for the day."  

44 Acts of Kindness: A reply

One of Cooper's teachers last year was Jana.

Jana's sister is Amy.

Amy and her family live in Missouri.

Yesterday afternoon I posted this note from Amy:

"My husband and I paid for the people behind us at Mc Donald's in Ozark, MO. Later today, we are taking dinner to our next door neighbor whose wife is in the hospital.

I forgot to print the note to leave at the drive thru this morning, so I had to hand write the message. I only know this man & family through my sister, Jana Shilson. However, his story has impacted my life two years in a row now. I was reading the note aloud for my husband as I was writing and couldn't finish for the tears starting to build. I am grateful to be part of such a wonderful mission! Prayers for you and your family from all the way in Missouri! :)"

A few hours later, I received this note (reprinted with permission):

Hello Mrs. Damm,

My name is Maria S., I am eighteen years old and I live in St.Louis. Last night I went to springfield to visit my friends who go to Missouri State. This morning as I was getting ready to leave springfield and come home I stopped by McDonalds to get some food. I was dreading the 3 hour drive home and I had to buy gas that wasn't cheap. Being a college student, I am basically broke. My dad just lost his job and my mom does her best to keep our family finacially stable with her job. I have two older sisters who are in college also. As I was waiting in the drive through I kept thinking about how stressed I was about school and how I didn't really need the mcdonalds and that the money I was spending on it could be used for something more important. The car in front of me seemed to be taking a while to pick up their food and pay and I just wanted to get on the road and be home. When it was my turn to go up to pay at the window the lady working there said to me, "The man in the car in front of you has paid for your meal and wants me to give you this" and she handed me a note (attached to this email) that explained why he decided to pay for my meal and told me about Steve. My day was made and I was in complete shock. As an 18 year old, I needed something as small as that to open my eyes and see the truly beautiful people out in the world. Steve was watching over me, a stranger to him, at that moment and all I could do was smile. All my stress was gone and I was in a better mood. I'm not sure if you know the man who did that act of kindness for me, but if you do tell him I said thank you. It truly did mean the world to me. Steve and the family are all in my prayers and it feels great to know that he is up in heaven watching over everyone with a warm heart. I learned how great of a guy he was just in that short note. I am inspired to keep his legacy going and I will do many acts of kindness in memory of him.

I am also sorry for your loss. I have experienced a heartbreaking loss this summer. I understand what it means to have a life cut so short. My boyfriend of over an year lost his little brother this summer. He was hit and killed by a train at 14 years old, only two days into his summer vacation. His name is Cam V. and he reminds me a lot of Steve. He always put others before him and made sure people felt great about themselves. He would stick up for the kids being bullied and tell the young girls with self esteem issues that they were amazing and beautiful. His smile was perfect and he used that to help many people through tough times. The pain is unbearable, but I know that he is in a better place. He is watching over everyone and still making sure that everyone feels loved. Today made me feel amazing knowing that Cam and Steve are up in heaven together shining down on us and doing amazing things. They are both greatly missed.

Thank you,
Maria S.

Thank you, Amy, for taking care of a stranger! And thank you, Maria, for sharing your story!

44 Acts of Kindness: Part 21

From Will in McKinney:

"Conor is helping his first-year teacher fill her class library with a gift card to Half Price Books in honor of his Uncle Steve."

***

From Haley in Carrollton:

"In honor of Steve I will be donating some lightly used clothing, stuffed animals, and hand knit scarves/hats to Our local Christian Community Action center."

***

From Tara in Dallas:

"I left brownies for the support staff (custodians, clerks, etc.) at school."

"Paid for the car behind me at Starbucks. The barista loved the concept of the Acts of Kindness event and gladly posed with the sign!"

***

From Erin in Dallas:

"Gave my neighbors my favorite chocolate cherry toffee cookies. :-)"

***

From Vicki in Carrollton:

"I left money on a vending machine, and bought breakfast for someone. Rick picked up a hubcap from the middle of Hebron Rd.

So thankful to participate in this event to honor Steve."

***

From Larie in Carrollton:

"One tiny thing I did yesterday at Target was give my basket to the lady behind me and get another one for myself. It's a small thing, but I never think to do things like that, and maybe I will be more conscious of my surroundings. Thanks for giving us all an opportunity to think differently."

***

From Karen in Atlanta:

"We continued through Monday by bringing in bagels & donuts to work to appreciate our team of social workers who work with children in foster care."

44 Acts of Kindness: Part 20

From Celeste in Frisco:

"I gave a Subway gift card to the teen cashier who checked me out at Kroger yesterday. It was great to see his reaction, almost as if he won the lottery. I'm also leaving an Olive Garden gift card for the mailman to pickup today."

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From Alma in Arlington:

"The office and maintenance staff at my apartment complex are wonderful people. To thank them for being so kind to me, I baked them cookies made from a recipe that was in the November community newsletter. While on a baking streak, I also made some banana bread to take to work on Tuesday. Election night in the newsroom ... You know how that is! Inspired a bit more, I donated to the Red Cross Disaster Relief. Thank you, Tyra, for inviting me to celebrate Steve this way. I wish I had known him. And thanks for reminding us all to be good to one another."

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From Nancy in Nashville, who donated to the American Red Cross in memory of Steve:

"I didn't want the day to pass without participating, and another participant gave me an idea for a worthy outlet. The stories you're posting are so heart-warming for all who read them! -- XXOO, N. (and Sarah, too!)"

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From Kelly in Frisco:

"I just wanted to let you know that my act of kindness in honor of Steve was giving a custodial lady, working the Kroger parking lot, unnoticed, a small amount of cash. I thanked her for working hard, then I gave her a hug. She was stunned. I briefly told her about Steve & why I wanted to show kindness. :)"

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From Ana in Mansfield:

"I'm in awe of all the people who have posted on here. My act of kindness is one that I cannot write about, but suffice it to say that it lightened the load for one family, without putting them in the spotlight... the every day things that we do, like babysitting so that someone can take a few hours break from caring for a special needs child; or volunteering in the nursery at church; remind us that it truly is the thought behind the deed that spreads the love. Thank you, Tyra, for allowing us to share with you in this way."

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From Lauren in Frisco:

"Greg surprised me by painting a room I've wanted painted for almost a year, I turned junk Into treasure & left it on my friends front porch as a surprise 'sussy' and my kids sent love notes to my dad, a recent widower."

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From Jeannie in Coppell:

"Taking donuts to cafeteria staff (our unsung heroes) bright and early Monday."

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From Minda in Lewisville:

"Try as I might, I truly received more than I gave yesterday. However, I did make sure the kitchens in the office had fresh coffee and the printers were fully stocked with paper early last Friday and this morning. We are big coffee drinkers here and the early birds print their reports first thing. Hope it makes Monday morning easier... (In memory of Steve's kindness)"