Parade

Monday morning a parade of neighborhood kids visited Steve with a welcome home gift.


Awesome neighbor and friend Meghan had organized the creation of a special bowl for Steve. A giant caterpillar, made up of fingerprints of our young friends, marches across the hand-painted bowl. Their names are underneath each section.

They also gave him bags of candy to fill the bowl -- sweet reminders of the love that surrounds Steve and our family!

Too fun not to share

A therapist is visiting with Steve right now. He'll be working on Steve on some physical and cognitive exercises. Sometimes they'll use a Wii for balance and hand-eye coordination.

They call it it Wii-hab.

Steve at Zale

After we got the call this afternoon, we sprang into action. Steve called his mom, who drove up right away to take care of napping Katie and Cooper, who would be coming home from school soon. I gathered Steve's belongings and called the Bassens for help getting Steve into the car.

We pulled into the Zale Lipshy valet area, and the intake nurse arrived to help Steve out of the car, into a wheelchair and onto the rehab floor.

We spent the next couple of hours going over medications, schedules, expectations and other introductory details. We met Dr. N, the physician who will oversee Steve's treatment, and his resident, Dr. C.

We learned that because of swine flu fears, children younger than 12 aren't allowed on patient floors. I had had big hopes of the four of us eating dinner together and reading bedtime stories in Steve's room. We'll just have to move the visits downstairs to the lobby.

A respiratory therapist stopped by to check Steve's pulse-oxygen levels and start his breathing exercises. She is the same RT who helped Steve at St. Paul a month ago. She chatted with us for a while, describing her husband's recovery from cancer 13 years ago. And she shared her belief that a good attitude is essential to healing.

We, of course, agree.

I left after Steve finished dinner. We've decided that during this stay I will spend nights at home so that we can both rest well.

I'll return early Wednesday morning to meet the physical and occupational therapists as well as the social worker, who will help with arrangements for home accommodations.

*****

One of my high school friends, Angela, delivered dinner to the house tonight. She made Steve's favorite dessert, pecan pie.

When I told Steve about the dessert, he reminded me of one of our favorite grocery store stories.

The week of our first Thanksgiving together, I wanted to make chocolate pecan pie to take to a dinner. I'd never made any kind of pecan pie before, so the ingredients -- as simple as they are -- were new to me.

Steve and I shopped together, and we couldn't find the Karo Syrup. We couldn't even pronounce Karo. A fellow shopper took pity on us and led us up and down aisles, saying loudly, "Where's the Kay-ro? Where's the Kay-ro?"

We laugh about that moment every time we see a bottle of corn syrup or talk about pecan pie. (And sometimes we recall that I burned the pie. There were a few baking disasters that first year.)

Hair today ...

Since Steve started receiving the chemotherapy Carboplatin,

his hair has been thinning.

With Aunt Ami in town, it was time for a hair cut.

He wanted to return to his edgier youth.

He didn't mean to alarm sweet neighbor Drew.

He wanted to make Katie happy.

He settled on the bald-is-beautiful look,

fulfilling a long-time dream to shave his head.

(Before the big event, Steve told Cooper and Katie

that Ami would be shaving his head.

Cooper's response warmed my heart:

"That's OK. It's what's on the inside, not the outside, that counts.")

Weekend update

While Steve and I were spending Friday at the cancer center, Katie was with Jim and Betty, and Aunt Ami was driving in from Austin. Ami arrived at our house just in time to see Cooper walking home from school. (He was headed to Meghan's house.)

A sampling of what's happened since then:

Margie escaped the house late Friday night. An unpredictable dark dog running through the neighborhood at night is a scary thing. Uncle Greg and I sprinted after her. Even speedy Greg, though, was no match for Margie. Aunt Melane and Cooper chased her down in the Escape (appropriate name, eh?), and Cooper coaxed our crazy fast dog to hop inside.

***

We celebrated my 37th birthday. Steve surprised me with a framed print from our early 2008 portrait session, and many, many others spoiled me with the most thoughtful cards and gifts.

***

Katie bounced around at Conor's fifth birthday party.

***

Cooper played tough with the Dolphins, the hardest-working second-grade soccer team in Frisco.

***

In health news:

Steve seems to be passing another kidney stone. He's been taking pain medicine, which is helping some, though right now he's in awful pain. (I know there's no point in deciding "what's fair," because nothing about Steve's condition is fair, but honestly. He shouldn't have to endure so much kidney stone pain on top of everything else.)

His headaches aren't improved yet with the increased steroid dose, but it's still early in the process.

***

And Steve has a new hairdo! Check back soon to see!

Disneyland, Day 3

We had early entry privileges again Sunday, but we didn't need to be first in line this day. We mostly wanted to ride our favorite rides again and hit a few new ones.


We spent the first part of morning at Disneyland, riding Alice in Wonderland, the teacups, Space Mountain (just me and Cooper), Buzz Lightyear, Star Tours (just me and Coop), Astro Orbitor and the Haunted Mansion. We were among very few families for the first show at the Enchanted Tiki Tiki Room. The animatronic birds' songs have played off and on in my head since my first Disneyland trip in 1986. Now both Cooper and Katie sing them from time to time.

We said goodbye to Disneyland and headed to California Adventure. We caught the first show of Turtle Talk with Crush then headed to Paradise Pier for the Golden Zephyr, Mulholland Madness, Jumpin' Jellyfish and Sun Wheel, a giant Ferris wheel that affords beautiful views, albeit through a cage that obscures attempts at photographing the scenery.



And then our tour was over. We returned to our beautiful hotel lobby, turned in the rented scooter and waited for our car. Katie fell asleep on the drive to Ontario and slept almost the entire time while we picked up boarding passes, checked luggage, went through security and waited at the gate. She did not sleep when we were taking off. She did cry and sometimes scream for about 10 minutes. I had visions of appearing on cable news channels as the family with the unruly 2-year-old who gets kicked off the plane. Of course, she had reason to be fussy. She hadn't eaten much in three days and was still struggling with a stomach bug. Our flight attendant was the most sympathetic we've encountered in almost seven years of flying with children. She let me unbuckle Katie from her car seat, and I was able to hold her until she settled.

The rest of the flight was uneventful, though late. We landed, picked up luggage, took a bus to our car, drove to Love Field to pick up Aunt Ami and pulled into the garage by 11:30 p.m.

We loved our getaway, and we've been talking and reminiscing about it ever since. In fact, Katie told us tonight that she's going to keep growing big so she can ride Space Mountain.

More photos from the day are here.

Disneyland, Day 2

Thank goodness for the two-hour time difference between Texas and California. We had no trouble waking up in time to get ready for early entry on Saturday, our second day at Disneyland.

One of the newest rides at both parks is Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage, which took the place of the old sub rides. The wait is notoriously long, as the ride allows just 900 or so guests through an hour, and the ride lasts 13 minutes. To ride without spending hours in line, you need to be among the first in line. So, we were the actual first people in line for the whole day.

While we were waiting at the gate, a cast member asked the family next to us if they would open the park. Of course, they said yes. Cooper, who is the boldest member of our family of four, asked what they were doing and then asked if we could join, too. The family was nice enough to share their honor, and the cast member agreed.

The eight of us entered before anyone else and led the countdown from 10 to 1. Then we screamed, "Let the magic begin!" What an exciting way to start the day.

We rushed to Tomorrowland and grabbed the first Nemo sub. Honestly, it was a good ride but I'm glad we didn't wait in the heat for it -- it wasn't that spectacular.

That morning we also rode (sometimes with Steve):
Mad Tea Party
King Arthur Carrousel
Jungle Cruise
Pirates of the Caribbean
Tarzan's Treehouse
Indiana Jones Adventure (just me and Cooper -- it was his favorite ride of the weekend)

Then we ate breakfast at the Plaza Inn. This was the long awaited breakfast with Minnie and friends. If you ask Katie how breakfast with Minnie was, she'll tell you, "Well, she didn't eat with me. She just loved on me." I hadn't explained in advance that the characters wouldn't sit down and dine with us, an important detail when you're 2. Nevertheless, we all enjoyed the meal and hugs.


After breakfast we went to the Golden Horseshoe to enjoy Billy Hill and the Hillbillies, an amusing country music/fiddling/comedy show.


Our next stop was California Adventure. Katie loved Monsters Inc. from the day before and wanted to show Daddy. We also fit in the Muppet Vision 3-D movie, fun at a Bug's Land and Soarin' Over California. Cooper and I braved the Grizzly River Run and got soaked -- perfect timing before heading back to our hotel.

After naps all around, we went swimming in the hotel pools, enjoyed a special dinner at Catal in Downtown Disney and settled in for an entertaining story time at the hotel. It didn't take long for Steve and the kids to fall asleep, and I ventured back out to the parks for souvenir shopping.

More photos from our fun day are here.

Disneyland, Day 1

With two and a half days at the two parks, we had time to spread out the rides and shows. I used a Disney trip-planning software program and a book I've had good luck with before to plot out the best order for the rides. The trick at any Disney park is to reduce the amount of time you spend waiting in line, usually achieved by being at the gate well before the park opens and being willing to use the afternoons for shows and/or naps.

In the morning, we fit in (Steve sometimes watched from the sidelines):
Peter Pan's Flight
Dumbo
Matterhorn Bobsleds (Katie's first real roller coaster, which she declared "awesome")
Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh
Chip 'n' Dale's Treehouse
Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters


Then we headed to Disney's California Adventure, the adjacent park. We watched the stage show Aladdin, then Steve rolled off to the hotel for a nap. The kids and I braved Monsters Inc. Then Katie fell asleep in her stroller.

Cooper hit A Bug's Land and rode some small rides by himself. The operators insisted an adult go with him on the bumper cars, but I couldn't abandon Katie and her stroller, so a cast member was Cooper's passenger.

Katie woke up while we were in line for Playhouse Disney Live, an interactive stage show with dancing, clapping, bubbles and falling streamers. We then picked up Steve from the hotel and returned to Disneyland for the afternoon parade, Splash Mountain (just Cooper and me) and a cruise through Pirates of the Caribbean.

We were all wiped out and ready for bed by the time we returned. Katie wasn't feeling completely better yet (and wouldn't for the entire trip) but managed to stay cheerful if not sometimes quiet (for her, at least).

For the day's photos, click here.

Disneyland, arrival

As you may recall, the day we headed to the airport for Disneyland, Katie got sick in the car and again on the flight. She worried aloud for a while about Minnie Mouse seeing her "all dirty." I assured her she could bathe before we met Minnie.


When we walked off the plane and into the terminal, Katie asked, "Where's Minnie?" She seemed certain that the giant hair-bowed mouse was going to meet us at the gate.


After gathering our bags and finding our driver, we settled in for the drive from Ontario to Anaheim. Both Cooper and Katie fell asleep in the car. It didn't take long to wake them once we arrived at our Disneyland hotel.


We opted for room service for dinner that night. The kids cuddled up quickly for bed, wearing their personalized visors, gifts from a group of Betty's friends.

Chicago, Day 4

Our early afternoon flight home left little time for sight-seeing, which is probably for the best. We were all tired. We did have time to visit the West Egg again, where Katie devoured her favorite strawberry banana pancakes. Some of the staff knew her by name by Monday morning!

After breakfast, we had about 45 minutes to walk down Michigan Avenue (the Magnificent Mile) before meeting our driver at the hotel. (Six don't fit in a cab, and we didn't want to take two to the airport, so we found a hotel-recommended driver who fit us in his Suburban.)

Grandma gave Cooper her camera, and he took some great shots of city life. We wandered around the Disney Store for a few minutes and then walked back. Our journey to the airport was smooth and uneventful, and we arrived at O'Hare in plenty of time to check in, clear security, grab a hot dog and board.

We waited for all the other passengers to de-board before we left the plane at D/FW -- to give Steve plenty of time and plenty of room to walk out. Waiting was worth it for Cooper and Katie, who were invited by the co-pilot to sit in the cockpit, press buttons and move controls.

We loved our adventure, even with its moments of harsh reality. Thanks to Jim and Betty for the trip, to Uncle Jim for joining us and to our ever-growing extended family who offered advice and good wishes.

For a few more photos from Day 4, click here.

For some photos that Cooper took, click here.

Chicago, Day 3

Sunday morning we headed to the John Hancock Center, which is the second tallest building in Chicago (the Sears Tower is few stories taller) and arguably offers the best view in the city. The observation deck is on the 94th floor, and the seven of us spent a lot of time walking around, admiring the view and beautiful architecture.

As you'll recall from the Day 2 recap, Steve was very active on Saturday. All that activity caught up with him early Sunday, and he was too exhausted to continue. So he and Betty took a cab back to the hotel to rest, and Jim, Jim and I took Cooper and Katie to Millennium Park, a huge public space bordered on the west by Michigan Avenue.

We spent a lot of time in and around "Cloud Gate" (a.k.a. the Bean), a stainless steel sculpture that creates fascinating mirror images. We also loved the giant Crown Fountain -- a reflecting pool is bookended by two 50-foot-tall towers with digital images of faces that change. The image of a child's face appears still until he winks at you. And then he puckers and water shoots out of his mouth! If it had been 20 degrees warmer, we would have let the kids frolic in the water. I imagine it's a popular spot in summer.

Nearby is the Art Institute's sculpture garden featuring some of our favorite artists -- Moore and Calder. Cooper spied the red Calder from far away and said it looked like a dragon. Katie thought it looked like an airplane or butterfly. Its name is "Flying Dragon."

After plenty of outdoor time, the Jims took Katie and Cooper back to the hotel, and I headed to Due to pick up some deep-dish pizza. (Due is the second installation of Uno's.) We ate that in the room and then got ready for Wicked.

Uncle Jim left for the airport, and Grandma and Papa were kind enough to stay with Katie, who slept almost the entire time we were gone. At home she relies on a daily nap and about 11 hours of sleep each night. She was running a huge sleep deficit by Sunday.

I wish I had been allowed to take photos during the performance, just to have images of Cooper's expressions during certain scenes. Steve and I saw Wicked a year ago at Fair Park in Dallas. Ever since, Cooper and Katie have loved to hear about the story and listen to the soundtrack. For Christmas Cooper received a book about the Broadway production (he's much too young to read or be exposed to the novel). So, he was really ready to experience the actual production. He was thrilled (and sometimes understandably scared) to see the huge dragon above the stage, Galinda and Elphaba meeting for the first time, the Wizard of Oz's facade, the monkeys growing wings, Elphaba taking flight at the end of the first act. It was just magical.

Katie was disappointed that she wasn't invited, but 2-year-olds aren't allowed in the theater, and it would have been way too scary for her, and I don't think she could have sat still through the show. I have promised that she can go when she's 6, so let's hope it's still playing somewhere or touring!

Cooper requested to eat in the hotel room again, so he and Steve stayed in, and Katie, Betty, Jim and I ventured out. We ate dinner at Rosebud on Rush and brought home plenty of food to share.

For more photos from Day 3, click here.

Coming next: Our last few hours in Chicago

Chicago, Day 2

Our second day in the Windy City was long and filled with fun.

Steve, the kids and I returned to the West Egg for breakfast then took a cab to the Museum of Science and Industry. This is the kind of museum that you could spend three or four days exploring. We spent about five hours, which was almost too much for Katie and not enough for Cooper.

Jim, Betty and Jim met us at the museum not long after we arrived. I really appreciated having so many adults to keep track of the two youngest Damms. Steve was able to walk from exhibit to exhibit with us and participate when he felt strong enough or sit when he needed.

Katie loved the farming section, water space, circus area and transportation space. She lasted about two and a half hours before falling asleep in Grandma's arms.

Cooper loved all of it, especially the extensive submarine exhibit, the Swiss Jolly Ball (a giant pinball machine-like display), the toy-making factory and the water space.

We left the museum in the middle of a gentle rainstorm. After getting Cooper and Katie settled in for some quiet time, Steve and I ventured out again, for a quick trip to the Art Institute.

Steve and I love art, but we don't agree on favorite styles. He loves modern art. I love impressionism and post-impressionism. The Art Institute offers enough to satisfy us both. The collection includes some lovely Monet paintings that reminded us of our five-year anniversary trip to Europe.

We returned to our hotel, and while Steve rested, Jim, Betty and I took the kids to the hotel's indoor swimming pool. They were able to "get their wiggles out" before dinner.

The seven of us met at Brasserie Jo, a French-style restaurant in downtown Chicago. The noise level was high enough that no one was bothered by two children, and the staff was very accommodating. The food was perfect -- special but not too fancy. Our entrees included beef wellington, steamed mussels and red wine chicken coq au vin. Desserts included chocolate mousse, creme brulee and a cheese plate. Katie was adventurous enough to sample her daddy's blue cheese and discovered she doesn't like veined cheese.

After more than two hours, a little wine, a lot of food and great company, we headed back to our temporary home. Cooper got out of the cab and raced for the revolving door. Katie raced behind him. Only her fingers made it in the door, and then they were stuck! The doorman was quick to rush over, and together he and I pulled the door back and set her hands free. She was understandably scared but not injured, and we avoided revolving doors the rest of the trip.

For more photos from the day, click here.

Coming next: Day 3 report

Chicago, Day 1

Six of us left D/FW last Friday for Chicago -- Steve, Cooper, Katie, me and Jim and Betty. We were especially thankful that American Airlines had resumed regular service that week, as we were flying on an MD-80. Uncle Jim had flown in from Houston the night before and met us at O'Hare.

We split up after claiming our bags. Steve and his parents took a cab downtown, and the kids, Uncle Jim and I hopped on the train. The taxi beat us by about an hour (we had a transfer and a few blocks of walking), but Cooper and Katie loved the train experience. When we stepped out of the underground station and Cooper saw the city streets, he instantly brightened. "I love Chicago," he gushed. He has always loved big cities -- New York, Boston, San Francisco, Philadelphia, D.C. I expect, when given the chance, he'll eventually ditch suburban life.

We regrouped at the hotel (the Courtyard Marriott off Michigan Avenue, on Ontario Street), and then headed out for a late lunch. About a block away was the West Egg Cafe, which I had read about earlier. (For those readers who don't know me well, I'll tell you now -- I love planning a vacation almost as much as taking a vacation.)

The West Egg is where Katie discovered her signature Chicago meal -- strawberry banana pancakes. She ate them every day we were in the city!

Then we split up -- Betty and Steve returned to the hotel, and the rest of us took a cab to the Navy Pier. We spent about two hours at the Chicago Children's Museum, which is now definitely in our top 3 children's museums. (The other two are probably in Milwaukee and Philly, though the Lakeland, Fla., one is a contender, too.) The museum successfully appealed to both Katie's and Cooper's age group. They both loved the water room, which offered opportunities to build dams, operate locks, pump water, float boats, build pipes and more.

As the museum was closing, we left for the giant ferris wheel, which offers great views of Lake Michigan and the downtown skyline.

We returned to the hotel to rest. Jim, Betty and Jim went to see Wicked that night, and Steve, the kids and I walked a few blocks to dinner. We found the Mity Nice Grill, at the back of a fancy shopping mall, and settled in. We were all tired from the day, but Cooper seemed the most exhausted. He barely touched his meal and was falling asleep in the booth. Not even the prospect of dessert would rouse him, so we went straight back to the hotel and put the kids down for the night.

And then I had a minor breakdown. Normally when Steve and I travel to a city, he ventures out before our bedtime and comes back with a surprise dessert. Well, he can't do that now. He's not stable enough to walk alone in our quiet, familiar neighborhood, much less a relatively unknown, crowded city. And that's when I started to cry.

At home, we've adapted to our new living-with-cancer routine. And going out of town would be different, I knew, than any other time we'd been out of town together. But no amount of planning had prepared me for how sad I would feel at that moment when I realized that even minor details of our vacation rituals would change.

And then I felt selfish for feeling sorry for myself and for wanting "old Steve" back. I mean, honestly -- I don't have a tumor in my brain stem. I'm not the one who is confined to the room unless someone goes with me. I should be grateful (and I was, really, just not at that exact moment) that we were together as a family, that we were celebrating Steve's progress -- not greedy for what life used to be like. And all those thoughts made me feel worse. And it was my birthday. (Natalie, a friend whose daughter is undergoing chemotherapy for optic gliomas, calls it a "how the heck did we get here" moment.)

I pulled myself together, left the hotel and wandered the city streets in search of dessert. I eventually found a wonderful, individually sized cherry pie with white chocolate mousse and ate it in our room. (Steve couldn't eat anything that late, as he was close to taking his chemotherapy. He has to wait two hours after eating before he can take the anti-nausea medicine and another 30 minutes before the chemo.)

Steve and I talked about it all, and we agreed that we just hate the Damm Spot. I am especially thankful that we can talk with each other about our moments of melancholy and that we support each other through these minor crises and much larger ones.

For more photos from our first day, click here.

Coming next: Day 2 report (and no crying, at least by me!)