Sunday, February 14, 2016

"Why us?"

One of the challenges of grief in children is that, as they mature, they understand loss in new ways.

During church today, Katie experienced a new grief moment.

She began to cry during a prayer. She didn't tell me what was wrong at the time, and she eventually composed herself.

As we walked to the car, she spit out her sadness and frustration.

"You shouldn't be sitting there without Daddy!" she said. "He should be here with you. Why did this happen to us? Why did God let this happen? Why us?"

Oh, sweet child.

It was the first time she's ever asked aloud the "Why us?" question.

I struggled with the same question often, in the early days of Steve's diagnosis. Eventually, though, you realize that there's no answer and that asking the question offers no solutions.

God didn't choose Steve to get cancer. God doesn't hand-select anyone to get cancer or any other disease. God does offer comfort in the midst of crisis -- and angels on earth who make life a little easier.

That's the simplest answer I could offer Katie in the middle of her 10-year-old wonderings. Truly, I don't think she really wanted an answer at all. She just wanted to ask the question.

Cooper and Katie, before church this morning