Shelter

For more than a week now, when I think of Steve, I think of the word "shelter."

Steve was -- and in many ways still is -- my shelter. My protection, my refuge, my home.

Melissa reminded me again this week that that was exactly what Steve wanted to be. And Jen wrote me that Steve probably considered me his shelter as well.

I am comforted by both sentiments. And I remind myself often how fortunate Steve and I were to find each other. Sometimes all those thoughts are enough to make me feel better. Sometimes they're not -- and that's OK.

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Recent Katie quotes about Steve and other important topics:

"People never run out of love. Love is everywhere in our bodies."

"Wherever God is, Daddy is there too. And God is always with me, so Daddy is always with me." (My friend and high school geometry teacher, Walter Dewar, calls this the transitive property of the Lord.)

"Does God speak French? Because I'd like to say, 'Merci for making Jesus.' "

On our drive to Maundy Thursday services this week, Katie said that she thought Daddy was at that moment on his way to church with God. Later in the night, she said that she was sure Daddy and Jesus were eating Mexican food together.

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Recent Cooper quotes:

"I miss when Daddy was alive. He made me happy and made all my tears go away."

"Be thankful for what you have."

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I'm detecting a holiday pattern in our without-Steve world. I stay as busy as possible all day long, and I do pretty well. Then the festivities settle, the house quiets, the children sleep, and I am still. Then I miss Steve even more than usual, which, as I'm sure you've gathered, is quite a lot.

Katie and Cooper, Easter morning, April 2010

Cooper, Steve and Katie, Easter morning, April 2009

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"How precious is your unfailing love, O God! All humanity finds shelter in the shadow of your wings."

(Psalm 36:7 NLT)