Too many words

There are about a hundred different things I could write about tonight, which somehow puts me at a loss for words. I'll share just a few thoughts tonight and then try to get some sleep.

***

I'm thankful that we had the opportunity to go out of town this weekend. I'm thinking that I won't spend Labor Day weekend at home for a very long time. I don't want to be in the house remembering, "this is about the time I called hospice when Steve's throat was burning" or "this is about the time the nurse told me we were running out of time" or "this is the moment I had to tell Cooper and Katie that Steve was dying."

***

I've been trying to focus on the better memories from Steve's last full day on earth -- the welcome crowd of people who moved in and out of the house, who sat in our bedroom and surrounded Steve with love and laughter. They were there for Steve and also for our family.

When I have trouble sleeping in that very room (which really isn't that often), I think of those special people who gathered for Steve's final hours. I think of the many of you who would have been here if you could have, who sent e-mails and left Facebook messages, who prayed throughout the night, who had prayed with us for so long, who had visited in the previous months or sent notes, who later attended the beautiful memorial service.

I imagine all of you in one room, and it gives me great comfort. Tonight I will rely on that comfort and memories of Steve and God's peace.

***

While we were in Ann Arbor this weekend, we met a number of Michigan Marching Band alums. One of them is Greg, who was a videographer for the band in the late '80s.

He gave me this photo of Steve (center), Eric (in the fun ski sweater) and others. The date on the back is October 1988.

This photo also gives me comfort and makes me smile. (And reminds me of our dear Cooper, who says he now wants to go to the University of Michigan, just like Daddy.)