6

For lots of little reasons, this has been a greater-than-usual missing Steve kind of week.

1. His 43rd birthday is approaching.

2. The Rangers are in the World Series, and just having baseball games on TV makes me miss Steve.

3. He was in my dreams two nights in a row this week.

4. Being the only present parent is sometimes more difficult than I ever imagined. And I've got a big imagination.

And the biggest:

5. It's fully hitting me that it's autumn and that Katie is 6. Cooper was 6 and it was autumn when Steve's health problems began to present.

That means it's been almost four years since life was "normal" around here. 

October 2007: Cooper is 6, Katie is 2.

Four years ago, Katie was in preschool two days a week. Cooper was in first grade. Steve was working 50, 60 hours a week and singing in church choir and helping with Cub Scouts. I was freelancing from home a little and managing Cooper's Destination Imagination team and doing some other volunteer work.

Fall 2007: 6-year-old chess-playing Coop

Steve was taking Cooper to Saturday chess tournaments. (I'll be taking Katie to her first chess tournament this Saturday.)

I ache for that "normal" while fully trying to embrace our new "normal."

Fall 2007: Katie is 2, Steve is 39. At this moment, we'd never even heard of glioblastomas.