Missing

Tonight I attended the first in a series of grief workshops at church. We've hired a trained grief expert to lead a six-week class for folks who have suffered a loss.

I learned a lot during the 90 minutes. What struck me most was this visual that Marilyn, our leader, provided.
Imagine that the circle on the left represents the person who's still alive. The circle on the right represents the person who has died. The gray area, the overlap, is what those two people shared.
When the person on the right is gone, the person on the left has a gaping, jagged hole.

It's an analogy that makes great sense to me. But during the class, I drew a different version.

Steve and I shared so much -- interests, values, ideas, experiences, dreams, love for each other, our children and others. The overlap is giant.And, of course, that means the hole is giant, too.

This illustration helps me put into perspective my great sense of loss and offers another example of why this grieving process is lengthy and painful.

I am thankful for so many kind souls who understand that this is a journey, that I'm not going to wake up one day soon and say, "OK! Everything is back to normal!"

The illustration is also a welcome reminder that Steve's circle overlapped with hundreds of other circles. There are lots of circles out there with gaping Steve holes.