And after he passed away, I didn't change my mind. I didn't want to have to answer one of the typical reunion questions about marriage. I didn't want to be around so many people and so much noise.
I did want to see longtime (not old, of course) friends, though. Konrad suggested a Saturday brunch somewhere. I offered our home, and Konrad took charge of organizing.
About 20 friends visited here yesterday -- a great compromise.
A few of them suggested more than once that I should attend the reunion. I finally gave in to peer pressure, arranged the best sitters for Cooper and Katie (Aunt Mel, Uncle Greg and Aunt Ami) and went to the party with Karen and Swati (just like old times).
Swati, Tyra and Karen
Yes, there were lots of people and it was noisy, but my fears didn't materialize. Just about everyone I spoke to already knew about Steve, and our conversations were comforting, not upsetting.
Last week Cooper volunteered to read Scripture during today's early church service -- our annual Children's Sabbath.
Early this morning he balked at the idea.
"I don't want to go to church, Mommy," he said as he snuggled under my quilt.
I asked why.
"Because Daddy loved church, and it makes me sad to do what Daddy loved."
I told him that I sometimes felt the same way and that on some Sundays we could stay home. But on this day we needed to go, to honor his commitment.
"But I might cry," Cooper told me. "And I don't want to break down in the community."
We talked about crying in front of others, and I assured him that it's OK to cry.
Our morning routine helped turn him around, and by the time we arrived for the 8:30 service, Cooper was ready.
He read Genesis 1:31a and 2:1-3 with confidence and ease.
God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. Thus the heavens and the earth were completed in all their vast array. By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. And God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.